Milking the system...

Oh my goodness! Are you serious!?

So last night I'm sitting at my dining room table with my babies daddy. We're filling out divorce papers, trying to come to an agreement on custody and stipulations so that we don't have to take the case to court.

We get to the child support sheet. The worksheet says he's required to pay me $533 per month. Woah! That would be nice, considering he hasn't given me a PENNY since the day she was born! But I know he's a slacker, and couldn't afford $533 a month if his life depended on it. Mainly because after being with the BOY for 7 years, I know he doesn't know how to handle money any better than a 4 year old.

So he says to me. "Put down that we have an agreement and the courts don't need to handle it" So I laughed! and said "If we put that down, they're just going to make you pay the $533" so he yells at me! "Don't be selfish Rachel, you know I can't afford that!" So I say "Maybe if you got off your ass and found a better job you COULD" and he says "Rachel, I'm not working" and then....

Let me say this in it's own paragraph. He says to me...

"I'm laid off and living off unemployment and section 8"

WTF?! My babies daddy gets section 8!?

Here I am. A 25 year old single mother working multiple jobs, with OUT benefits, to keep my head above ground. The state tells me I don't even qualify for benefits, because I have the "potential" to make too much money...and here's my ex.

28 years old. Lazy. Unmotivated. Shallow. Selfish. Criminal convictions and a drug problem...and the state is paying for his housing?!?!

This only backs up my idea that I so LOUDLY and tactlessly suggested that afternoon in the Department of Human Services lobby the other day when they told me I was capable of making too much money to receive benefits. See...this is how it played out.

Me "I'm having trouble getting by right now and my daughter needs health and daycare so that I can work to make more money".

Helper "I'm sorry, your employment history shows that you are capable of making more than our limits"

Me "but my recent pay stubs put me below it"

Helper "Sorry, there's nothing I can do"

Me (while pointing to the people waiting in the lobby) "Maybe if you drug tested half of these tweaker mothers and dead beat dads sitting in here then we WOULDN'T have this problem! Would we?!"


So maybe my temper got the best of me....but COME ON!! I only need the assistance temporarily...and I think that after paying taxes since I was 16 to supply the freaking program, that maybe I could use it until I got back on my feet. But NOOOOO! It's people who have sat on their asses all their lives that qualify.


O-M-G! Whatever...I'll be fine. I'll just put in the divorce paper that my babies daddy has to take a drug test at any time I require it. :-P

Earth, Wind, Fire, Water!!! LOL

Loving an enemy.

Last night I dreamt that a man whom I don't appreciate all that well, was learning to fly. I was teaching him. He was floundering all over the ground like an idiot, and didn't under stand when I told him he had to run as fast as he could, then jump into the air and spread his wings. So I yelled at him...I said, "what don't you understand!?"

Then suddenly I floated backwards and realized that his wings were broken. Feathers were missing, muscles were weak. I began to feel sorry for this man that I never thought I would feel sorry for. He's caused so much pain to those that I love and cherish.

So WHY did I feel bad?!

I thought for a moment then said to myself... "if I were to give him my wings, he could fly."

As I helped him up off the ground he was fighting with, I thought to myself... "If I give him my wings I will never be able to fly again...what if I fall? I'll hit the ground, and I'll hit it hard"

I gave him my wings and with peace and joy in his face, he flew away.

Why did I have a dream where I was helping a man whom I did not like? I then realized that this dream was God's way of bringing clarity to a scripture I had read before bed that night.


Matthew 5;7 - "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy"